Impact and Identity

Finding Confidence in My Curves

Words by Jonita Hayer

  • Photo courtesy of Jonita Hayer.

    Photo courtesy of Jonita Hayer.

  • Above photo by Ashley Butterfield. Below embedded photo by Caitlin Timmins.

    Above photo by Ashley Butterfield. Below embedded photo by Caitlin Timmins.

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The journey to self-love isn’t a smooth ride, especially for girls and women. We’re taught from a young age to be critical of our bodies, and are told that we should strive to fit into the “ideal body type.” This can be incredibly difficult, especially for those of us who weren’t born into these “ideal” bodies.

My curves were something that I had to learn to love. When I was younger, I didn’t understand why I was stuck with the body I was given. As I grew older, though, I began to embrace my shape. Fashion helped me do it.

One of the biggest things I’ve learned is that you should never stick yourself in a box. It can be tough when you feel like everyone is judging you, but the truth is that the only person whose opinion you should truly worry about is your own. Discovering what you like (and don’t like) to wear is half the battle in building your confidence and learning to love your body.

Lemon Poppyseed Girl

I’ve found that another way to build your self-love is to simply be brave enough to step out of your comfort zone. Take some time to think about the styles that inspire you and the fashion that you’d like to see yourself in. Then, do some research and find clothing companies that sell the styles you’re looking for. This can be tricky, especially for curvy ladies. Thankfully, the clothing industry is finally making large strides in terms of inclusive sizing. When I was younger, the clothing choices for curvy girls like me weren’t as vast as they are now.

Once you’ve found some pieces that you love, you have to find the confidence to wear them (and if you don’t quite have the confidence yet, fake it until you make it!). Remember: if you don’t love your look, no one else will love it, either.

On my own fashion journey, I became fearless in the pursuit of finding my own signature style. I decided I wouldn’t be afraid of bright colors and bold prints just because they showed off my curves. With that in mind, be sure to find clothing that actually fits your shape. Bodies with curves are often told that they need to wear oversized styles to hide their figures, but that’s just not true. Don’t be afraid to wear clothing that hugs your silhouette and accentuates your favorite features.

Interestingly, while I’ve learned to embrace my curves all the time, my confidence reached an all-new high during my pregnancies. Particularly through my third trimesters, I found that I gravitated to more figure-hugging bodysuits and knit dresses to show off my growing baby bump. I also noticed that I received more compliments (both in real life and on social media) during my pregnancies, and I truly believe this is because my confidence radiates during these times in my life. You attract the energy you give off, after all.

If you asked me today if I would change my body for a more “ideal” type, I would laugh. Because I wouldn’t change a thing. My curves are one of the features I now adore the most about myself; they complete who I am. And I learned to love them by dressing them my way.